Before sitting next to me the woman wiped everything down with a Clorox wipe. Her seat, the armrest, the folding down tray/ “Private Screening” (so just a tray) and, for good measure, her seatbelt buckle. She then looked me over for a few moments before deciding I wasn’t worth the wipe.

Our day started before 5 AM and included some minor drama related to our Jet Boil. Is it a stove (which is only sort of allowed on a flight) or is it a French Press. Not to get all existential on you, but does function trump form, or is Trump just an asshole? This question stumped the bag check who eventually decided it could fly with me, but only as a carry on. And then later I had to check that bag at the gate.

At the airport we also had an almost edible breakfast that consisted of barely thawed out plant based sandwiches washed down by very small cups of coffee. Also entertaining was  watching an impromptu game show brought upon by the flight being oversold. It was like a reverse auction with the people at the gate every few minutes upping their payout. They needed two volunteers. The first to volunteer settled for a  measly few hundred dollars toward a future flight. It wasn’t until about thirty minutes before boarding that the offers got serious. A lucky winner ended up walking away with a first class ticket for an early evening flight plus a $1500 travel voucher. Well played my man. Well played.

Bit by bit after the flight we begin to feel ourselves. Lunch, coffee, a quick stop at REI and then we checked into our hotel in Parhump and had a quick nap. Afterwards we wandered about  the carnival in town and had an amazing dinner at Mom’s Diner where the chicken fried steak was followed by pie a la mode. Sweetest day we have had in a long time.